Controlling father kicks 19-year-old son out, 5 years later discovers son's success and demands he move back in with him to help pay rent due to financial issues, son refuses, causing family feud: 'She says I’m punishing him for the past'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Sep 20, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

There are givers and there are takers. Let's see if you can distinguish who is who in this riveting family drama…This controlling dad decides to throw out his 19-year-old son with no real argument, chucking his things in trash bags on the side of the road. After 5 years of the son, couch surfing and working extremely hard, by age 24 he has created a home and a successful career for himself…and as you can expect, his father coincidently comes running back after him, requesting him move back home and contribute to the rent during his father's period of financial strain…have you got your answer yet?

Of course, he refuses. He abandoned him at 19, and even stated that he was no longer 'his problem,' and now he expects him to hug and make up and offer up all his hard-earned income for a man who couldn't even look at him 5 years prior. What makes this whole situation even more frustrating is that his sister is actually defending their father, telling her brother he should leave everything in the past…and open the door to forgiveness…If this couldn't be an episode of Days of Our Lives, we're not sure what could!

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  • We can understand why this son is not running towards his father with open arms. Especially, when it is so obvious that he is trying to use him to get a few dollars out of. How pathetic. If you are not going to be there for your children when they need you most, how could you expect them to do the same thing? Family is forever, but when you kick them out of the house with no plans at 19 years old, you are showing them that forever just got a whole lot shorter…

  • 01
    "He literally threw my stuff in trash bags and told me I was 'not his problem' anymore"
    via gettyimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing to help my dad (56M) after he kicked me (24M) out 5 years ago?

    So when I (24M) was 19 I lived with my dad (56M). My mom passed away when I was 12 and it was just me, him, and my younger sister (now 20F).
    via DuaneCase
  • 03
    My dad has always been kind of strict but after my mom d dhe became super controlling and honestly mean. He didn't like that I wanted to go to college out of state and we would fight constantly.
    via DuaneCase
  • 04
    When I was 19 I came home late one night after working a double shift (I was saving money for school) and he literally threw my stuff in trash bags and told me I was "not his problem anymore."
    via DuaneCase
  • 05
    I slept on a friend's couch for months until I could afford a tiny apartment. I worked my a off, graduated, and now I've got a stable job.
    via DuaneCase
  • 06
    I haven't had much contact with him since, mostly holidays. Here's the issue: two weeks ago he called me out of nowhere saying he needs help paying rent and bills because he got laid off.
    via DuaneCase
  • 07
    He also guilt tripped me saying "your mother would be ashamed that you won't help your own family." He asked me to move back home (??) and contribute or send him money every month.
    via DuaneCase
  • 08
    I told him no, because honestly he made it clear years ago that I wasn't his responsibility. Now my sister is mad at me too, saying I'm being selfish and he's still our dad.
    via DuaneCase
  • 09
    I told her I've already forgiven him but I'm not going to put myself back in that situation. She says I'm punishing him for the past.
    via DuaneCase
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10554590976
    via cottonbro

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    Part of me feels guilty because he's still my dad and he's struggling, but another part of me feels like he made his choice when he kicked me out and I don't owe him anything.
    via DuaneCase
  • 12
    So AITA for refusing to help him?
    via DuaneCase
  • 13
    Melodic-Skin9045 NTA. Yes, you ARE punishing him for his past behavior. There are and always should be consequences for poor/bad behavior. You should never set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. She can help him. Block him and move on.
    via Melodic-Skin9045
  • 14
    Spike-2021 NTA. If he didn't I off and NEED YOU, he wouldn't have reached out. Send him a box of trash bags and block him and your sister.
    via Spike-2021
  • 15
    Substantial-Air3395 NTA it's easy for your sister you say you should - help, when her belongings weren't put on the curb in trash bags when she got off work. Also, guilt is a useless emotion.
    via Substantial-Air3395
  • 16
    western_radio NTA, if you weren't his "problem" then, he shouldn't your problem now
    via western_radio
  • 17
    kiwimuz NTA. Your father is an adult who can sort out his own problems. He made it very clear how much he cared about you 5 years ago. Tell him the same thing he told you - he is not your problem anymore.
    via kiwimuz
  • 18
    FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE HB 39109172 R B2 Tham Lobede Sinhal 100 FEDERAL RESERVE NO FG 72897301 G7 TO STATE RENT PAYMENT UNET Anne Laclede Rahul 100 DO OLARS DOLI 100 L 82621250 C 田 100 ED DOLLAR
    via pixelshot

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    Flaky-Decision-9510 Low contact wasn't working - time to go no contact. This man is a selfish excuse of a human. If your sister wants to help him, she is free to do so... but she doesn't have the right to judge you for choosing not to. At 19, you were hardly an adult - and he positioned you in EVERY WAY to fail, without a single f given and NOW he wants - you back in his life in a financial caregiver kind of a way? NTA
    via Flaky-Decision-9510
  • 20
    ELIKITRON NTA. Don't help him. He didn't help you when you needed him, and there's absolutely zero reason you should help his loser a. You did a great job breaking away and doing good for yourself, don't let them convince you to ruin it. Focus on yourself and keep crushing it and improving.
    via ELIKITRON
  • 21
    DazzlingPotion Karma. NTA
    via DazzlingPotion
  • 22
    Mandiezie1 NTA, and he can't pick when he wants to be your dad. He decided to turn his back on you and cannot conveniently decide he's your dad and "family" because now he needs you. Your sister is nuts if she thinks this is a minor issue
    via Mandiezie1
  • 23
    mcmurrml He is 56 and a big boy. He can take care of himself. That's his problem. He will figure it out. That's a terrible thing he did to throw you out. You don't owe him squat.
    via mcmurrml
  • 24
    Live_Driver_2747 NTA I love comments like this”I'm punishing him for the past.” Ok, fine. It will happen again. Now I'm punishing him for the future! He is not now, nor was he ever, your responsibility.
    via Live_Driver_2747

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family drama failblog call back redditstory drama teenagers siblings kick-out askreddit pay-rent tension advice family asking for money successful hard work son Father
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